Are You a Woman Being Abused?

Are You a Woman Being Abused?

Definition of abuse

Any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. The abuse can encompass, but is not limited to psychological, physical, sexual, financial, emotional.

Anyone forced to alter their behavior because they are frightened of their partner's reaction is being abused.

Did you know...

  • One in four women will experience domestic violence at some point in their life.
  • Two women are killed by a current or former partner every week in England and Wales.
  • Domestic violence has the highest rate of repeat victimisation of any crime.
  • An incident of domestic abuse occurs every six to 20 seconds in the UK.

Recognising abuse

  • Shouting/mocking/name calling/verbally threatening.
  • Pressure tactics: sulking, threatening to commit suicide: take the children away: report you to agencies unless you comply with his demands regarding bringing up children; lying to family or friends, feeling that you have no choice in any decisions.
  • Disrespect; persistently putting you down in front of other people; not listening or responding when you talk; interrupting your telephone calls, taking money from your purse without asking; refusing to help with children or housework.
  • Breaking Trust; lying to you, withholding information from you; being jealous; having other relationships. Breaking promises and agreements.
  • Isolation: monitoring or blocking telephone calls, telling you where you can and cannot go; preventing you from seeing friends or family.
  • Harassment: following you, checking up on you, opening your mail, repeatedly checking to see who telephoned you; embarrassing you in public.
  • Threats; making angry gestures; using physical size, shouting you down, destroying your possessions; breaking things, punching walls, wielding a knife or a gun, threatening to kill you and your children.
  • Sexual violence; using force, any degrading treatment, based on your sexual orientation covering their tracks.
  • Physical violence; punching, kicking, slapping, biting, pinching, hitting, pulling hair, pushing, shoving, burning , strangling, tearing clothes.
  • Denial; saying that the abuse does not happen, saying that you caused the abuse, being publically gentle and patient, crying and begging for forgiveness, saying the abuse will not happen again.

If you are a victim

If you are a victim of domestic violence and abuse, remember:

1) you are not alone
2) it is not your fault
3) help is available.

Useful Contacts for a Woman Suffering from Domestic Violence:

  • Police - 999
  • 24 Hour National Domestic Violence Helpline - 0808 2000 247
  • Forced Marriage Unit - 020 7008 0151
  • Rape and Sexual Abuse Helpline - 0808 800 012
  • ChildLine - 0800 1111
  • Shelter - 0800 7766 00
  • Brent Samaritans - 0845 790 9090
  • Look Ahead - 02079371166
  • Advance - 020 8733 3715
  • Refuge - 0808 2000 247
  • Shelter - 0800 776600

Safety planning advice

Your safety is the priority. Listed below are few tips to help keep you safe.

If You Are in an Abusive Relationship:

  • Plan Ahead: Think of how you will respond in different situations.
  • Emergency Contacts: Have a list of emergency numbers or memorize them.
  • Stay Connected: Tell someone you trust about your situation. Consider telling neighbors and ask them to call the police if they hear violence.
  • Safe Areas: If you feel a threat, try to move to a part of the house with an exit and a phone (avoid kitchens and garages where there may be weapons).
  • Have an Exit Plan: Even if you're not planning to leave, think of where you could go and how to leave safely.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Protecting Your Children:

  • Teach Them: Show them how to dial 999, ask for the police, and give their address.
  • Code Word: Have a special word to signal when they need to get help.
  • Safe Places: Tell them where to go for safety if needed.
  • Avoid Involvement: Explain that they should not get involved in violent situations.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

If You Are Planning to Leave:

  • Have a Safe Place: Think of a few safe places to go if you need to leave suddenly.
  • Support Network: Consider who can help you when you leave.
  • Prepare Financially: Open a bank account or credit card in your name. Keep spare change with you at all times, for using the telephone and for transport.
  • Pack Essentials: Hide a bag with everyday items in a safe place, but only if it won't put you at risk. Important documents (ID, birth certificates, etc.) should be included.
  • Children's Safety: Plan how to take your children with you safely, but prioritize your safety first.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

If You Have Left Your Abuser:

  • Domestic Violence Is a Crime: Abuse is never your fault. Violence is a choice and the the abusive person is the only person responsible.
  • You're Not Alone: 1 in 4 women experience abuse. You can call the 24-Hour Domestic Violence Helpline (confidential and open year-round).
  • Call 999 in Danger : The police are required to investigate and take action.

Funded By: